


We were only playing

by Azile_Teacup



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 20:57:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/931013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azile_Teacup/pseuds/Azile_Teacup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt on Kink Meme here: http://kinkme-merlin.livejournal.com/35615.html?thread=38649631</p><p>Basically Arthur's afraid of water and it comes out in a dramatic way when he goes on holiday with his boyfriend for the first time and meets a whole lot of people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We were only playing

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS! past cannon compliant death of minor character. Phobia of water. Flashback of someone. Mentions of past emotional abuse.

Mordred leans across the parked car to touch Arthur's shoulder, wanting to wake him in case he needs a piss (which is the reason for the stop; apparently Mithian in the other car is desperate to bursting). Arthur snuffles and tries to escape Mordred's fingers against his cheek, then blinks awake and squints around. The others are gone, racing off before Mordred had even properly parked, so they're alone.

"We there?"

"No. Services. Mith was bursting for a waz."

"A waz. Ha. The first time I heard Gwaine say that, say that he and Merlin and Percy were going for a waz, I thought it was some kind of short hand for something disgustingly adventurous and sexual."

"Ah. Yes. Easy mistake. We're also getting food because Leon gets whiny when he's hungry."

"Like the man in the snickers add."

"Exactly like that. You know we're going to have to buy him a snickers now, right?"

"I know. I need a coffee, too."

"Starbucks and WHSmith. Come on then, sleeping beauty."

Arthur gets out, clumsier than usual with drowsiness, and waits for Mordred. They blink in the bright sun for a moment, then Arthur takes his hand and leads him into the air conditioned chill of the Welcome Break.

"Oh man, this is _so_ a welcome break!"

Gwen says from behind.

Mordred rolls his eyes as they're immediately accosted by her for hugs. She immediately dashes off toward the games, pledging to beat Merlin the reigning champ of roadside gaming. Mordred heads for Starbucks first because Arthur seems to be wilting. 

"Sorry. Didn't sleep properly last night."

Mordred gets into line. He guesses nerves at meeting so many of Mordred's friends, family really (or actually in the case of Merlin), at once. He's met most of them one on one before but all together is a different matter. 

"Want me to wait in line while you go for Snickers?"

Mordred suggests.

"Sure. Why, does Smiths have a really long line or something?"

"A short one. I'm being nice."

Arthur kisses his hair and squeezes his hand before heading off, pulling his expensive sunglasses off his shirt and fitting them over his eyes as he goes. Mordred always thinks it's a shame when Arthur hides his eyes. They're so lovely. He watches his arse instead.

"Oi! Mord, I'm talking."

"Oh, Merlin. Hi,"

Mordred says, blinking, realising he's zoned out on said arse and missed Merlin's arrival and apparent discourse.

"Daydreamer. C'mon, queue's moving. I asked what you're doing here. You don't drink coffee."

"We split the tasks. I'm taking Starbucks, Arthur's doing Smiths."

Merlin's mouth tightens at the mention of Arthur, but Gwaine comes and makes him grin before Mordred gets another worried lecture about Arthur's 'suitability'. He has no idea what it is about Arthur that rubs Merlin the wrong way, but it's one of the first things that drew his attention to his boyfriend so he's thankful for it. Merlin will come around. 

"Mord, queue."

Mordred looks up and realises he's at the counter already. 

"Um... Can I have an iced coffee please?"

"Small, tall or Grande? With cream or without? Would you like any flavourings? Extra shots?"

"Oh, wow. Choices. I don't know. Tall, no cream, extra shot but no flavours?"

The bored sales girl dings it through the till and takes his money and he goes to wait. He's not actually entirely sure what Arthur wanted. Arthur usually just drinks black coffee as far as Mordred's been able to tell from the few mornings after. They're still quite new with it all. He takes the coffee with a muttered thanks and heads for Smiths, almost bumping straight into someone.

"Careful! Oh, Mordred. Sorry. I thought you were some bumbling coffee monster."

Mordred recognizes Arthur's chest even before he speaks and leans into it to enjoy the rumble of words. 

"I got coffee. Not sure you'll like it. I got it cold because it's hot and extra shots because you're tired and no flavours because, gross."

Arthur takes it and sips, stands in contemplation, and then nods. He rearranges the Smiths bag and coffee so he has a free hand for Mordred to hold, but then Merlin slips between them and links arms with Mordred instead. Arthur stuffs his free hand into his pocket. 

No one gets it when Mordred gives Leon the snickers but it makes Arthur laugh and it makes him laugh so it's all good. Except Merlin heads for the car with Mordred and Arthur instead of the people carrier with Percy and the others, or Leon's car, and calls shot gun. Mordred says reload but Arthur gets into the back anyway and buries his nose in a chic-lit book he pulls out of the Smiths bag.

"Nice choice."

Merlin says.

Arthur pretends not to notice the bite in Merlin's tone. Mordred knows it's pretence, because Arthur puts his sunglasses back on which he does when he's uncomfortable. He says thank you and looks absorbed in the book. Merlin entertains himself by playing songs Mordred hates very loudly and yelling out of the window at Gwaine when Percy over takes them, then pulling out a walkie talkie. 

"Oh!"

Mordred checks the mirror at the exclamation. Arthur's sat upright, staring out the side. He notices Mordred watching and grins, pointing to the left. Mordred looks left and then, there it is! A flash of the sea! He beams at Arthur and then at Merlin, because Merlin's his brother and they have a long standing thing.

"Sea! I win!"

Mordred yells, beeping the horn by accident in his excitement (he wins so rarely).

Merlin curses and looks left, then beams right along with Mordred and starts bouncing in his seat. Soon they're driving along a coastal path and Merlin's making plans over walkie talkie with Gwaine for swimming and jelly fish fights and cooking and bedrooms. Mordred looks back at Arthur, but Arthur's got his sunglasses on. Mordred thinks he might have fallen asleep again, though, rather than being upset in any way. 

His suspicion is confirmed when they pull up in front of Gwaine's beach side cottage (a mansion really, it's huge) and Arthur's head just lolls to the side, no signs of life transmitting. Merlin makes a noise of disgust and bursts out, sprinting for the house, racing for the best room. Mordred opens the back door and crouches down, waking Arthur for the second time today. Arthur sits forward with a start, his head connecting with car door with a horrible crunch and his sunglasses fall off revealing watering eyes. 

"Ow."

"Ouch! I heard that from here,"

Gwen says, coming over. 

Mordred doesn't shift to give her access. She may be a first aider but Arthur absolutely hates fuss and Gwen is fussy. Lovely fuss, but still fuss. He stays where he is, waiting.

"I'm fine. My head's hard enough."

Mordred does move then, so Arthur can get out and properly reassure Gwen he's not got a concussion. Mordred gets their bags, noticing everyone has once again gone on without them. He sighs, resigning himself to the attic room, and heads for the house leaving Arthur and Gwen by the car. Arthur jogs up just before the door and takes his suitcase and Mordred's hand. 

"Mordred! Come on! Mithian, as a singly, is taking your designated attic room so you my friend have her usual ensuit!"

Elena sings at him.

Mordred goggles at Elena. He never, ever gets an ensuit.

"You have been upgraded seeing as you have brought someone along. Someone, I feel obliged to add, who I haven't been introduced to."

"Oh. Um, Arthur this is Elena. Elena, Arthur."

He ignores their awkward 'hi's and heads up to the second landing where Merlin and Gwaine and Percy are waiting with stupid grins. He rolls his eyes, because there's a bit of red string across the bedroom door and Percy's holding out scissors. Perce and Gwaine, as Merlin's childhood mates, never pass up an opportunity to humiliate him. He pushes the scissors away. 

"Never say no to scissors, Mordred. Always a useful and threatening implement. Oh look, we have red thread."

Arthur steps around him with the scissors and cuts it, opening the door and stepping in. Mordred follows him and sighs, knowing the other three are going to follow. Arthur, though, feigns obliviousness (he's very good at it. Unobservant upper class twit is his go to alias) and shuts the door on them before grinning at Mordred and throwing himself onto the double bed.

"This is brilliant."

"So being blackmailed by your sister is a good thing?"

"Never. Harpy. She thought it would be 'funny'. She's very mean, Mordred."

"If I meet her I bet she'll be lovely."

"You will meet her. Right, what's the plan?"

"Merlin and Gwaine always make everyone go swimming."

"In the sea? I don't think so. I'll stay here and read."

"Read chic-lit. My brother's an arse but I agree with him on this one."

"He is an arse, you're right. And his bum is not nearly as delectable as yours."

"Flattery will get you nowhere."

It does, though. Mordred changes for him, pulling his swimming trunks on slowly to tease, and he even lets Arthur off swimming, designating him 'towel rail'. Everyone seems happy with that and Arthur's left by the style, arms full of towels. Mordred pauses to kiss him and is surprised by how oddly fretful Arthur is. But the sea's calling and he can sort it later. It's probably just the caffeine. Arthur caffeinated is always a little off. 

He gets to the sea and is promptly tossed in by Percy and Gwaine and then there's splashing and yelling and waves and Gwen getting a tiny crab in her bikini top and Mithian acting like a dolphin and making them laugh and Elena who keeps falling over and Leon acting all serious but really being a ninja and pushing them all over and lots of noise. 

It's cold, though, and they don't stay in long. Just a quick dip the first evening, that's how it goes. They all get out as one without talking about it which makes them laugh even more and they're like a huge wet mob making for Arthur. Who isn't where they left him. 

"Where's your fellow, Mord?" Elena asks.

"Yeah, where's the-"

Mordred cuts Gwaine off (he always sides with Merlin) and looks around. 

"Arthur?"

Arthur appears suddenly, phone held out as torch, sitting on the style. They make for him again and Arthur hands out towels one by one. 

"Sorry, I went to put the kettle on. It's cold even out of the water. Mordred, towel."

Mordred steps forward to take it but Arthur snaps it open and wraps him in it and his arms, torch going dark against Mordred's back. Arthur's lips are warm on his forehead and his lips and Arthur's tongue is-

"Get a room."

The nasty edge to it makes Mordred stick his leg out and Merlin stumbles, curses, windmills his arms and falls into a rock pool. Which is ever so gratifying. Arthur tuts, though, and goes to pull him out. 

"Here, I have a spare towel."

Mordred wonders why Arthur has a spare towel until he gets inside and realises he's wrapped in Arthur's smiley face beach towel and not his own boring blue one. He smiles and catches Arthur as Arthur tries to get past with a sopping towel and a scowling Merlin. Mordred lets Merlin go but takes the towel and drops it on the floor. Merlin can deal with it. He pulls Arthur up the stairs. 

"What?"

"We have our own bathroom. Shower!"

"I didn't swim, I don't need one."

"You can keep me company."

"Is it small? I could just read."

"Arthur, I want to sex you in the shower. Now come on, you can give me a- hi Gwaine."

Arthur starts snorting with laughter as they squeeze past a shocked Gwaine and tumble into the bedroom which sets Mordred off and leads to very odd, laughter-filled shower sex. It's surprisingly good. They get out satisfied and Arthur takes his time drying off, standing at the mirror and rubbing at his five o'clock shadow and wondering weather to do his teeth, all in the all-together. 

"Dinner will be ready soon. Mith brought a frozen lasagna."

"Oh? Nice. Food."

Arthur walks through to the bedroom, still completely naked, and then shrieks like a girl and ducks back into the bathroom, wide eyed. 

"What? Did Gwaine put a hedgehog in there again? It's just an animal Ar-"

Mordred freezes in the doorway, stares at Freya, and then ducks back into the bathroom half choking with laughter. Arthur gives him a wounded look and pulls on his boxers before walking without shame back into the room. Mordred follows, in jeans and a shirt, still laughing. 

"Freya, this is Arthur. Arthur, this is Freya. She lives around here and was a very good friend to me at some very bad times."

Arthur nods and goes to pull jeans out of his suitcase. The one's with the belt. Mordred's not sure why but Arthur with belted jeans and nothing else is so very delicious. It's almost as good as when he walked in on Arthur in reading glasses last week. Oh, those reading glasses.

"Everyone is bickering over whether to play Cluedo or Trivial Pursuit. Hello Arthur," Freya says after examining Arthur.

Half-naked Arthur.

"Hi. Mordred, did you bring that t-shirt?"

"It's in my backpack."

"How domestic. Very sweet, Mord. Are you keeping him?"

"Um..."

"Oh good. If you don't want him we can always get him adopted, like a puppy or something. Anyway, I'm leaning towards Trivial Pursuit myself and I have ways to make them do it."

She really does. She also usually freaks out his dates 'for fun'. Arthur doesn't look freaked though, more frustrated.

"I can't find it. Or my hoody. Did I pack my hoody even?"

Mordred digs out the shirt and his own hoody, helping Arthur pulls both over his head. Freya suddenly grins.

"Oh, An American Werewolf in London. Brilliant film."

Arthur beams and pulls up the hoody to show off the wolf with the words 'The Slaughtered Lamb' underneath. He's been trying to get Mordred to watch several films for a while, this must be one of them. Mordred smiles at Arthur's sudden enthusiasm. He hasn't been very open with most of Mordred's friends and while Arthur does tend to be quiet and serious this little boy happiness is also part of him. A part Mordred rather likes. 

"I love the film. It might not be a masterpiece or whatever but it's a classic, absolute classic. And it's really funny and still touching and creepy and I always freak a bit when he turns into a wolf in her flat and it's all just brilliant!"

"It is. I like films with a lot of horror. Gore, death, blood, you know."

"Shaun of the dead?"

"Brilliant."

"Have you seen the new one?"

"Its definitely better-"

Arthur chimes in and they speak in tandum; "the second time through!"

Freya's lips twitch and Mordred thinks he might faint. Freya doesn't smile at new people, she scares them away. This is so weird. 

"Oh, and dinner's ready."

"You should have lead with that! Food!" Arthur says.

Arthur charges for the door, then seems to remember all the people out there. He clears his throat and straightens his clothes, quieting before heading out. Freya catches Mordred's arm.

"Keep him. I like him."

"Me too. Are you staying?"

"Mith's lasagna? Wouldn't miss it."

They head down together. Arthur's waiting for Mordred in the dining room. Well, he's sat and he's talking quietly to Percy, but he looks up when Mordred walks in and gently pushes out a chair for him before going back to Percy. Definitely waiting. Mordred sits. 

They do end up playing Trivial Pursuit. Mordred isn't good at it but Arthur, it turns out, knows a lot of random shit. He answers all the questions quietly and with confidence and makes strategy decisions and beats everyone, even Freya, with ease. Then sits back to watch them all scuffle for second third fourth place, threading his fingers with Mordred's own. 

Half way through the fourth game Arthur starts yawning and shifts. They're sat side by side on the floor leaning against the sofa, Freya and Elena sat either side of them. Arthur moves so he's leaning subtly against Mordred and when there's an argument over an answer he leans close, kissing Mordred's ear.

"I'm going to have to call it a night soon."

Mordred smiles, then yelps when Arthur nibbles at his ear. He makes their excuses and they head up the dark stairway, bumping into a blushing Gwen and Lance adjusting their clothes. Again, they're laughing when they get to their room and Arthur leans against the door inside, pulling Mordred close and kissing him. 

"I didn't know they were a couple," Arthur says.

"They're not! Or they weren't. Lance is fairly new, he's a mate of Percy's."

"I like your family, Mord. Don't think they all like me, though."

"Merlin's a dick. Come on, bed."

"Oh I wish I was up for what you are planning."

"You're really that tired?"

"Sorry. I'm knackered. Fuck, Mordred, you have no idea- sorry. It's just I'm tired."

"I wasn't insulting you or saying I didn't believe you. It's fine. I'm... I'm happy to just sleep with you. Or I could take a single room! I don't mind! Doing that. At all. I mean it's not like... this is new, yeah?"

Arthur laughs and kisses him again, pulling their bodies close together. Mordred leans into him. 

"I thought Merlin was the chatterbox."

"He is. I have no idea what just happened."

Arthur presses his nose into Mordred's neck and mutters something about him smelling nice. Mordred leaves him to it, hoping Arthur will rally, but then Arthur's suddenly heavy and Mordred realises he's falling asleep standing up. He jerks Arthur upright and awake and they stumble around in the dark getting ready for bed until Mordred remembers he knows this house and switches on the table lamp. 

He takes Arthur's book off the table and sits up in bed, Arthur curled up by his hip. It's domesticated and Mordred finds himself enjoying it. He rubs Arthur's nape and threads his fingers into his hair, reading one handed from Arthur's bookmark. Arthur falls asleep between one breath and the next. Mordred reads for a bit but then he finishes the book and has nothing to do so he switches off the light and joins Arthur in slumber. 

He wakes to someone kicking him and muttering at him. He suspects Merlin and just shoves, but then there's a louder noise and what might be a yelp and a crash. He jerks awake, sitting up, and switches on the light trying to reach for Arthur to wake him. If it's a burglar Arthur's infinitely better at fighting than Mordred is. 

The light blinds him for a moment, then he looks around for Arthur. But it's not a burglar, it's Arthur. On the floor, blinking at the ceiling and looking confused. Mordred peers down at him, still too sleepy to understand what's going on.

"Did you just shove me out of bed?"

Arthur's voice is sleep rough and Mordred is kind of turned on right now. 

"Um, yeah. Kind of. I thought you were Merlin. You were kicking and muttering. Were you dreaming?"

"Dunno. I was asleep, then... thunk."

Arthur shows no signs of getting off the floor. Mordred grins down at him, oddly at peace with whatever strangness is happening right now. He's just kind of happy to wake up in the middle of the night with Arthur there. Or nearly there. When there's been no sex. Or alcohol. 

"Never mind. Come on back up, I promise not to push you out again. Even if you do snore."

"I do not!" 

"Like a pig."

Arthur gets onto his knees and heaves himself back into the bed, wriggling under the covers and turning Mordred, spooning him. Mordred leans back. 

"I think you were having a nightmare."

Arthur just grunts, already mostly asleep. Mordred puts out the light and is soon dozing again, Arthur's chest rising and falling against his back, Arthur's heat making him sweat a little, Arthur's breath in his hair. 

Next time he wakes it's light. Arthur's stood at the window, looking out at the sea. It's sunny and there are seagulls and it's pretty much the perfect beach day. The sea looks gorgeous, just waiting to be jumped into.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Mordred says.

Arthur turns to him, smiling. There's a shadow in his eyes but it goes too fast for Mordred to really be sure it was there. 

"Yeah, you are," Arthur says, oozing sleaze.

"Hey!"

"Someone knocked on the door a while ago and said something about breakfast. I couldn't tell who it was. I was thinking a shower first but didn't know if you wanted to lie in, or maybe go for a swim, or some weird Emrys morning ritual I don't know about yet."

"Oh, that. We always get up with dawn and, using our skills passed generation to generation, we summon dragons and speak to the dead."

"Ah. I thought maybe it was something like that."

"Shower, breakfast, napping on the porch, then beach."

Arthur nods but he looks a little unsettled. Mordred gets up and joins him at the window, tugging at his boxer waistband to get a cheeky glimpse of his butt. Arthur laughs and steps into his space, leaning in for a kiss. 

"God your breath is rank, Emrys."

"Charming. Are you okay?"

"Yes, why?"

Mordred shrugs and kisses him again. Arthur doesn't complain. They have morning sex in the shower (or rather Mordred gets a blowjob and Arthur shoves his hips against Mordred's thigh until he comes. It's all very teenagery and a bit embarrassing but the intention is there) before heading down to get some toast and cereal. 

Mordred's sat at the table with a sleepy bed headed Lance and Elena and a very put together Arthur when Arthur nudges him with his foot. He looks up, already smiling. Arthur smiles back, the half one where his lips quirk. 

"Good morning."

Mordred nods and goes back to his breakfast. He barely notes Gwaine and Merlin tumbling in from the beach, closely followed by Percy, just gets on with eating, but then Arthur nudges him again and nods to where they're arguing. Arthur looks a little anxious. Mordred shakes his head that it's not serious and Arthur settles. He doesn't like confrontation, Mordred already knows that. 

"You bums coming out for a swim? Surf's up!" Gwaine says, ending with a yell.

"None of us surf," Lance says.

Gwaine ignores Lance's remark and bounces around, cheerful despite Merlin and Percy's glares. 

"Mordred does."

The room freezes, everyone looking at Arthur. Mordred smacks his forehead. 

"Thanks Arthur. I'd managed eight years without that slipping out."

"You surf? Can you teach me? Merlin, your brother surfs!"

Arthur goes wide eyed and covers his mouth, but he's smirking and Mordred knows he did it on purpose. For fun. There's chaos as everyone tries to find out what it's all about and in it all whatever argument is between the others is forgotten. Mordred feels a little soft and sad at that, that Arthur can't tell a squabble from an argument and needs it diffused before he can be comfortable. Mordred's so used to people bickering as a way of showing love. 

"Sorry," Arthur says. 

He smiles and shrugs, sheepish now. Mordred realises he must have looked upset and nudges Arthur under the table. 

"Sure you are. Now, spill! Tell us aaaaall," Gwaine says, elbows thunking onto the table.

"He learnt the summer you were all in Spain. He met a surfer guy and fell head over heels and had a summer fling."

"And the only thing I got out of it was lost virginity and the ability to surf. Then again, all he got was one of Mum's bowls of porridge."

Everyone makes faces. Merlin at the idea of Mordred having sex, the others at the thought of his mother's porridge. Arthur laughs suddenly, completely open with it which is rare. Everyone looks at him again but he's not telling. He goes back to eating and nudging Mordred under the table.

"Can you surf, Arthur?"

Elena, to Mordred's relief, seems genuinely interested and friendly. Not being swayed by Merlin, then. Good. Arthur seems surprised. 

"No. I don't. I can't. Um... no."

"Not the water type? I know the feeling. I wasn't until these guys adopted me. They drag you kicking and screaming and in the end you have no choice but to love water."

Arthur smiles at her but the easiness has left him. He looks upset and Mordred is beginning to suspect that it wasn't all-together kind of Morgana to blackmail him into this. He isn't enjoying himself. Mordred gets up and takes Arthur's hand, pulling him out onto the porch. 

"Porch nap, remember?"

Mordred leads Arthur down to the garden and flings himself down, crawling under the verandah the way he hasn't in years. Arthur follows him and they lie, looking up at the cracks of light, listening to the others looking for them.

"They don't know about this?"

Arthur's voice is a murmur right by Mordred's ear. It tickles. He turns his head to reply in kind and Arthur shivers against his side. 

"Nope."

They lie there for quite a long time, talking quietly sometimes, sometimes just looking at the light. Mordred tells Arthur a bit about the years past here, about being younger than everyone and then having his own friends to brings. Freya and Gwen and Leon, who is older but still Mordred's more than Merlin's. Arthur listens. 

Suddenly there's a crashing over head and whoops and cheers as a herd of elephants clatter over head. Or that's how it feels, according to Arthur's mutter. Mordred laughs and nods, because it really does. 

"Everyone's going swimming. It always sounds like this."

"All right. Come on, then."

"You don't want to."

Mordred doesn't ask. He knows it's true. Arthur just stays quiet, though, so he wriggles out and wraps an arm around Arthur for a kiss.

"I'll go get you a towel, then looks for shells for Morgana's collection. I'll see you on the beach."

Arthur's gone before Mordred can ask him what's wrong or say they can do something else. Mordred considers not swimming, considers waiting and... something. But he chickens out. He doesn't know everything about Arthur yet and he's not always certain, not as certain as Arthur seems. He knows he loves Arthur, not that he's ready to say it but he knows he feels it. But the rest isn't so solid. 

He wanders towards the water, shedding his clothes onto the pile there. He walks past Gwaine and ducks Percy's waiting arms. He's not in the mood for their playing. He swims out and out, then floats on his back, then notices Arthur on the beach and rolls, treading water, to watch. 

Arthur's blond hair is like a beacon, zigzsagging a random pattern across the beach, bending now and then to pick something up. Mordred smiles and starts slowly for the shore. Arthur straightens and looks out to sea. He must not see Mordred because he comes closer to the waves, peering forwards. Mordred laughs and waves. 

Then he notices something that makes him feel cold. Gwaine, Percy and Merlin are coming along the beach. Mordred's not sure what it is but something tells him they're up to some trick. And that Arthur is not going to like it. He flips onto his front and starts a rapid front crawl towards the beach. The tide is with him and he gets up to his waist just as the others reach Arthur. 

"Arthur!"

Arthur spots him and smiles, raising a hand to wave. And then Percy and Gwaine are on him, lifting him off his feet in a shower of shells and sand, and they make for the water. Mordred tries to run. 

"Stop it!"

But they're caught up in the moment and they carry Arthur with them. Arthur catches Mordred's eye and there's a moment of clarity when Mordred sees Arthur realise what's about to happen. Then his eyes widen and he starts struggling, really struggling. Mordred runs again. Merlin's laughing at the shoreline. 

And then Arthur's going sailing through the air, much like Mordred last night. He hits the water with a splash and everyone bursts out laughing. Mordred is feet away when Arthur bursts out, soaking wet, hoody dripping. He's up to his chest and he must slip because he goes under again. 

Mordred grips the hoody and pulls him up but Arthur's kicking and hitting out and when he breaks the surface again he's wild eyed and gasping, half choking. He lashes out, fists hard and fast, at everyone close enough. Sadly, only Mordred's close enough. He feels something connect with his cheek bone and stumbles back. 

He straightens, ducks the fists, and tries to get hold of Arthur. From this close he can hear the short, sobbing breaths and feel the way Arthur's heart is pounding. Arthur's eyes are showing white, wide and terrified.

"Arth- Arthur! Arthur! It's me, it's Mordred. Please. You can reach the bottom, you're not... Arthur!"

Arthur doesn't hear him, though, and he _can't_ seem to touch the bottom, he's kicking and splashing and he goes under again. Mordred wades forward and pulls him up, trying to get him to shore. Arthur's still fighting it, sobbing and weakening. 

"Someone _help_ me! You fuckers, _help us_!"

Mordred feels something connect with his face again but then Percy's there, big and strong. He gets hold of Arthur and lifts, holding both arms around Arthur's, lifting him from the water and spinning, wading back to the beach. They have an audience. Mordred wades out after them and glares around. He shoves Gwaine as he passes. 

Percy puts Arthur on the beach and Arthur rolls onto his side, coughing and retching up sea water. Mordred crashes to his knees by Arthur's head and tries to help but when he touches Arthur starts to yell. Mordred kneels, helpless, as Arthur coughs and coughs and coughs.

"Okay Mordred."

Freya pulls him up and takes his place, bending low over Arthur, hands firm and gentle. Everyone watches, listening to her soft voice. She helps Arthur sit up and makes him drink, takes his weight as he pitches to the side to vomit it back up and makes him drink again. He sits, eyes shut, shuddering. Then he opens his eyes and gets to his feet, brushing Freya aside. 

Mordred takes a hesitant step forwards and Arthur's eyes land on him. They're cold and closed off, every glimpse of softness gone. Arthur looks very, very angry. 

"Don't. Don't _any_ of you freaks come near me. What the hell kind of game is this you're playing? Well I'll not be played. If you so much as take a step nearer I will call the police. I'm a lawyer, I know what to say."

Arthur looks around at them and the way he stands isn't familiar to Mordred. It's tall and straight and ready, ready to fight. His arms are loose at his side but he looks ready. His eyes are dangerous and so cold. Freya gets to her feet and Arthur growls, spinning on her. Then he pushes his way through them and makes for the house. 

Mordred tries to go after him, but Freya's there to stop him. She wraps her arms around him and won't let go. He feels himself start to shake and then tears come.

"Let him have a minute, Mord. Seriously. There's something up."

"No shit! No fucking _shit_!"

He turns on Gwaine and Merlin and Percy. Percy looks apologetic, the others just look shocked. Mordred stops right in front of Merlin and opens his mouth, so much anger ready to come pouring out. 

"You know what, Merlin? Mr. Pacifist? Sometimes violence is a perfectly, _perfectly_ acceptable substitute for talking."

He makes a fist the way Arthur taught him, swings from the shoulder and just goes for it. There's a crack as his fist meets Merlin's face and then there's a cry of pain, from him and from Merlin, and they stare at one another. Mordred's own face is stinging from the two shots Arthur got in and now his hand is joining the throng. 

"Mordred, I didn't know!"

"No. You didn't. Because you didn't give enough of a fuck about me to get to know the man I actually _care_ for."

"I'm sorry. I just... he's older. You haven't had a serious relationship before!"

"Never had a s- Merlin, when was the last time you paid any attention to me? Seriously. Because what about Kara? And what about Cedric? I- just stay away from me, too."

"No. Mordred, I knew about them. I did. But Arthur's... he's so much older!"

"He's younger than you by two months."

"He's so serious!"

"You always said I was serious. And he's not. He likes playing and he's funny and he gets my sense of humour and he gets me! He gets that I like to be quiet and he lets me and then he listens so attentively when I talk. And he gets that I like swimming and long walks and sunsets and he doesn't but he does that stuff with me. He gets that sometimes I don't want company and lets me be. He gets that I had a charmed childhood but sometimes, sometimes it still fucking _hurt_ me. He knows what it's like to feel a huge gaping gap between yourself and your sibling and he knows what it's like to lose a parent! And I fucking love him you utter twat!"

Mordred realises he's crying but he can't quite stop talking now he's started. And Merlin's crying too so it doesn't matter. 

"I love him. He lights up the room for me. He's soft and kind and a little bit wonderful and he's brilliant and I love him so much and you've ruined it. You all ruined it and it's the first thing that's entirely mine and not part of all of you and I hate you so much right now!"

"I didn't mean to ruin it. I'm just scared for you. I know what a bad relationship is like and he looks like Edwin, Mordred. He looks like Edwin when the light's right."

Mordred pauses. He had wondered what made Merlin have such a viceral reaction against him. But, Edwin explains it. It's always Edwin. 

"Yeah? Well get over it."

He turns away from Merlin and Merlin starts to sob. But he has all their friends and all the attention now, because of Edwin. Mordred climbs over the style and into the garden, seething.

"Mordred!"

He turns back to Freya, only because she liked Arthur and helped him. 

"You need to be careful."

"He won't hurt me."

"He might, but that's not what I meant. I mean be gentle."

Mordred narrows his eyes at her, trying to work out what she's trying to tell him. She's a very good shrink and she reads people and Arthur talked to her. She knows what happened. But he doesn't have time, because Arthur is going to be packing. That thought kicks him into gear and he runs. Up the stairs and bursting into the bedroom.

"Don't go! It wasn't me. I didn't plan it. I swear to you this isn't a game. It isn't. It never was for me. I like you. In fact, in fact, actually, I love you. And I just tore my brother to shreds over that and you can't go because I was actually a bit of a bastard and-"

And he stops. Arthur's not packing. He just sitting on the bed, a wet patch growing underneath him. He's not even looking at Mordred. 

"Arthur?"

"I know, Mordred. It's fine."

"Oh. But... you're not. Fine, I mean. You hate it here. Because of the water."

Arthur nods. A tiny, teeny nod. And Mordred realises he's embarrassed and suddenly he's crashing to his knees in front of Arthur and getting a look at his pink eyes. Arthur smiles wryly.

"Well, I imagine I made quite the fool of myself."

"Not really. They shouldn't have done that."

"They were just playing, Mordred. If I act like a stuck up prat I should learn I'll get treated like one."

"They shouldn't have."

"No. Perhaps not. Did I hurt you?"

Arthur's hand is cradling his face, his fingers brushing at the bruises. Mordred is careful not to flinch, is careful to keep meeting Arthur's eyes. 

"No."

"I did. I'm sorry. I am truly sorry."

"You look like someone who hurt him."

"Merlin?"

"Yes. Rather badly. Edwin. He was older and he was unkind. Not quite abuse, but close enough. He made Merlin so self conscious he couldn't bare to leave the house for a year."

"I'm sorry. No one deserves that. No one deserves to be reminded of it."

"We'll sort him out later. I'm worried about you, right now."

"Mm. My Mum. She drowned. I was there. She was trying to save me. I swam out too far, there was a storm. I'd had a row with my father. When the life boat found us she had just... slipped away. I didn't even notice her going."

"Oh God."

Mordred is cradling Arthur's face, now. He presses their foreheads together and shuts his eyes, just holding him like this. He's unlikely to allow much else.

"I don't. Like. Water, Mordred."

Arthur's voice breaks and he's suddenly short of breath and Mordred can feel Arthur's tears on his own cheeks. He doesn't move, doesn't dare in case Arthur pulls away. He just stays there and waits out the storm of helpless emotion. When it's over he opens his eyes. Arthur's are still shut. 

"Lie down. You didn't sleep well last night, you must be exhausted."

"My chest hurts."

Mordred feels a wild stab of panic imagining the kind of injury that might cause that.

"I'll go get Gwen, she's a first aider."

"No. It's not... it's from my Mum."

"Okay, okay. Do you want me to- never mind."

He shimmies out of his trunks and gets Arthur out of his wet things and lays a few towels on the bed and then gets them situated under a blanket. Arthur lies shivering and coughing against Mordred's chest, though, so Mordred gets hold of the duvet and puts that over Arthur, too. Arthur subsides a little.

"I can still feel it. The pressure, the water, her voice. And then, when they asked me where she was. I feel that, too."

Mordred holds him a little tighter, wishing he could take it away. He presses a kiss to the damp hair and Arthur's head comes up, lips meeting his own in a sudden surprising surge of adrenaline. Mordred kisses back and then it's over and they both chuckle before subsiding.

"God, not enough energy."

"All right. Just rest. Actually! Your sister."

"Oh, Morded. She didn't do this. I _wanted_ to come with you. Which she knew. She gave me a convenient excuse."

"Oh. You wanted to come?"

"I like the sea. From a safe distance. I am less fond of you being in it and me not being able to see you, and I am also less fond of being tossed into it myself. But I like it. It sounds like my mother. I honestly thought she was a selkie for the longest time."

This time the kiss is gentler, slower. It still makes Mordred's breath catch. Arthur sighs and snuggles closer, actually snuggles. 

"I wanted to try this. With you. The domestic thing. You are rather younger than myself and I didn't know how to ask for it."

"I like it. And I'd do it for you even if I didn't. I rather like you."

"You said you love me earlier."

"Oh, all right then."

Mordred bends his head and breathes it into Arthur's ear, soft as he can. 

"I love you very much. Now go to sleep."

"I'm rather fond of you, too."

"I know. Sleep, Arthur."

Arthur's eyes flicker and then he's under, breathing against Mordred's collar bone. Mordred sighs and smooths his hair and presses a kiss to his pale cheek and then slips out of bed. Arthur makes a sound so he replaces himself with a pillow, which seems to satisfy Arthur's subconscious. Mordred takes a last look and heads downstairs. 

Everyone's in the livingroom. Merlin's sat alone in the window seat, eyes bloodshot. Mordred goes to Freya first.

"Thank you."

"He's all right?"

"Yes. For the moment. He's asleep."

Then to Percy.

"Thank you for pulling him out."

"And you'll kill me for putting him in?"

Mordred smiles and heads for Merlin. Merlin refuses to look at him, tears leaking over his sore looking eyes. 

"You should have said something. He would have- he'd have- I'd have... but you didn't know what would happen."

"I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt someone like that."

"Which is why I'm talking to you. Arthur pointed out that you were only playing. He doesn't hold it against you so I don't either. And you really, really didn't mean to hurt him, which I know. Uh, also..."

Mordred gestures to the bruise purpleing on Merlin's cheekbone. Merlin touches it gingerly, almost smiling. 

"I was quite proud of that, to be honest. Who's been teaching you?"

"Arthur. He doesn't like how late I walk home from work. He's a bit of a worry wart, actually."

"Not like Edwin."

"God no. Nothing like- Arthur's so... he's big and strong and rough. He'll wrestle with you and toss you about and shove you against a wall, but he'll never lose contro- oh. Well. I guess he did lose control."

Mordred touches his own cheek and Merlin laughs, reaching out to touch too.

"We match."

"Where's Gwaine?"

"On the porch. Smoking. Lance is with him."

"I'll go talk to him."

Mordred gets halfway across the room but then Merlin calls him.

"Mordred!"

"Yeah?"

"I am very proud of you. For this. For all of it."

"Oh. Right."

"Now go fix Gwaine and then go curl up with your lovely boyfriend."

"I might just do that."

Gwaine is fairly easy. He takes Mordred's words with a grave nods, grabs his nape and tugs him close, heads bumping. 

"Ow."

"Don't be a wuss. I'm sorry."

"I know."

Gwaine nods, bumping their heads again, then Mordred escapes. Back upstairs to Arthur and the warmth of him and the sounds of him breathing and coughing. He wakes briefly and mutters something about being a little spoon before tumbling back to sleep. Mordred just lies with him, soothing him when he starts dreaming. 

He wakes up to a dark room and Arthur's body against his chest. He always liked being the little spoon but this is nice too. Arthur's back expands and contracts as he breathes. He's awake, Mordred realises.

"How are you feeling?"

"Humiliated."

"They won't judge you."

"They'll look, though. I don't like the way people look."

"Seeing as all the secrets are coming out... um..."

"Confrontation? I had a row with my father before... since then we don't argue. I don't like it. I never have. It's not really... I don't understand the root of it, I just don't like it."

"Okay."

"Can we just sneak away?"

"We should go down."

Arthur starts coughing again and it's hoarse now, sounds painful. He rolls over and presses his face into Mordred's shoulder. 

"Ow."

"Your chest?"

"No, my throat."

His voice sounds hoarse too, now Mordred's listening for it. He rubs Arthur's hair and Arthur hums in response, almost a purr. Mordred laughs.

"Shall we face the beasts?"

"I... okay. Can you help me a little?"

Mordred gets Arthur sitting and helps him get into clothes. He thinks Arthur just wants him close so he lets Arthur sling an arm over his shoulders and they walk side by side on the narrow stairs, laughing and not letting each other trip. They step into the dining room, lit with a soft light, and everyone turns towards them. Arthur holds him closer and clears his throat, trying to stifle a cough. 

"There you are! Thank God! We've been waiting to eat."

There are greetings and yelled insults and then it's normal again. Arthur sits closer to Mordred than usual and is a little more wary of people, though he was never trusting of these guys. He keeps trying not to cough too obviously, but his throat's a bit torn up. Every time it happens he turns towards Mordred, hand snagging his belt loops. Mordred kind of likes it, being the care giver for a few hours. 

"Arthur, I know it's awkward but we kind of have to apologise."

"No you don't."

His voice is shot. Mordred gets up and Arthur's hand reaches for him instinctively, which makes him blush. 

"I'll put the kettle on."

He ducks out, ignoring Arthur's muttered 'wuss'. He listens from the hallway. Gwaine and Percy's earnest insistence on apologies and Arthur stubborn refusal of their necessity.

"Oh for fuck's sake! He knows we're sorry. Enough. And I am sorry too, by the way."

"From you I'll take two."

Mordred stifles his laughter and escapes to the kitchen. Merlin is going to have to get used to Arthur's humour at some point. He bustles around with tea and honey and hot water and by the time he gets back bearing the hot mug everyone's settled back. He takes his place next to Arthur and Arthur doesn't sit so close.

"For me?"

"You sound like shit."

"He's right, mate. Like utter shit."

"Thanks for the back up, Freya."

Freya laughs and Mordred is shocked by the blush and ducked eyes from his brother. He mouths across 'Freya?' but Merlin just glares at him. He leaves it. They can woo in their own dysfunctional manner, if they don't want his help to do it properly. 

"This is good. You are the tea god, Mordred."

Mordred smiles at Arthur. 

Later, in the middle of Cluedo, an argument breaks out and Arthur leans into him, whispering. 

"I might have to duck out early."

"Again?"

"As in go home. I'm sorry, the sound of the waves is making me edgy."

Mordred feels warmth burst in his chest at being given that little confidence. He takes the responsibility and nods. 

"I'm going to go pack. Don't throw my boyfriend in the sea while I'm gone."

Arthur's the only one who laughs, but that's okay. Not everyone gets Mordred's sense of humour. He catches Merlin's eye and Merlin smiles, albeit a little sadly. Mordred goes upstairs and folds Arthur's shirts and trousers and pyjamas and stuff, feeling domestic and content. Maybe now Arthur will be more willing to stay the night. 

When they leave Arthur and Merlin have an awkward, manly handshake and then to everyone's surprise Arthur tugs Merlin into a brusque hug and mutters something that makes Merlin laugh. Then he waves to the rest of them, kisses Freya on the cheek and they step out into the night. 

"Want me to drive?"

"No. You might crash. You're knackered."

"I am. We need to stop for a coffee."

"Or you could nap."

"Or I could nap. Yes. Thought I'd try to keep you company."

"I'll manage. I'd rather have you rested."

"Right."

Arthur packs the boot and then buckles himself into the passenger seat, clicking on the interior light and yawning, rooting through the glove box for something.

"What are you after?"

"Somewhere... ha!"

Arthur comes up with a snickers. He grins at Mordred and they both laugh, relaxing into the intimacy of a car at night. Mordred clicks off the light and puts the headlamps on instead, heading out into the night. Arthur chewing happily at his side. 

"What's my book like, by the way?"

"Absolutely dire."

"But you still managed to finish it."

"I did."

Arthur goes quiet until they leave the sea and then all the air whooshes out of him and he goes boneless against the window, snoring loudly before a minute has passed. Mordred doesn't wake him when he stops for a piss and a sandwich and he sleeps all the way home. 

Mordred wakes him by brushing his fingers against Arthur's cheek, smiling when Arthur starts awake with a jerk. He also starts coughing, though, which is less endearing.

"That sounds painful."

"Just my throat. That drink helped."

Arthur kisses him suddenly. Mordred opens up to him, gripping Arthur's shirt in his hands. Then Arthur's unbuckling and getting out, unloading his bag. Mordred sits, waiting. He's surprised by the sudden knocking on the window and Arthur's face grinning at him. He winds it down.

"You coming, or are you sleeping in the car?"

"Coming? In? Here?"

"Yes!"

"I thought I was going home."

"Not bloody likely, I think you're half asleep already. Come on, up. Bed time, Emrys."

"My brother's right; you're a prat."

"I am. Now get out of your dinky little car."

Mordred gets out, locks up, and then complains about the dinky comment. He's fond of her, thank you very much. Arthur yawns and fumbles the keys and Mordred's rant is derailed. It's a very good look on Arthur, rumbled sleepiness. Even though when he actually sleep sleeps he is a bit of a drooler. And a snorer. But all in all Mordred is rather fond of him. 

When they finally get inside Mordred pulls Arthur into a kiss and steers him to the bedroom, undressing them and kissing as they go. 

"I know, I know. You're knackered, no energy, too tired."

"Actually, I think I'm rallying."

Mordred grins and tries harder to get them declothed and into bed. And when Arthur finally, finally sinks into him after a weekend of frustration Mordred comes apart embarrassingly fast. But then Arthur's hips are jerking, his breathing coming in panting bursts, and as he stills he whispers 'I love you' and that just about makes up for this entire nightmare.


End file.
